Fuel the Fire...

I love my work, but every once in a while, I go through lulls. This crazy, busy summer has challenged me to write when I don't feel like it, find inspiration where things seem hopeless, and work during life and all its hiccups. There is still a solid 9 days of writing time in July, and I just set a new record, breaking the 60 hour mark...thanks, AERA proposals...

On Friday, I got to attend my writing group for the first time all summer. I was so excited to go, but hesitant to share my work. However, I was pleasantly surprised and received such good feedback. This feedback fueled my energy and drive to continue writing. I came home after writing group excited and motivated to write for the first time in a while! Never under-estimate the power of a good group and feedback.

After writing group, I got to enjoy the company of my group at dinner. While there, a colleague said something that didn't seem important at the time but has become more and more relevant as this weekend continued. She said, "In grad school, you have to worry about yourself. You can't be overly concerned with what other people are doing or you will go crazy."

I could not agree more. Grad school can become very cut-throat and competitive. I am often amazed at the audacity of things people say and do - although, I try to remind myself that we are all under a great deal of stress and that affects our judgment. In grad school, what you put into the process is what you get out of the process and everyone has different goals. If I tried to do everything that I saw the people around me doing, I would die of exhaustion.

I have found that collaborating with others gives you more opportunities while splitting the work load. However, it is also a good idea to have a few things that are just your own. Not only does this maintain your sanity, but it allows you to separate competition.

Fuel your fire. Get feedback. Talk to your support group. Worry about yourself. :)

Healthy Competition

During the last semester I have really struggled with the idea of accountability. I like to write. I love my work. I enjoy reading. It has never been difficult for me to get motivated to complete my work - except when the word is dreary or dull. However, when I started graduate school I constantly heard that I should join a writing group and build accountability for myself. Wanting to meet the expectations of graduate school, I inadvertently joined several writing groups. Just from knowing people, I became part of these groups.

Unfortunately, my productivity plummeted after becoming part of these groups. At first they were helpful, but I quickly became engrossed in the competition of the groups. Who could do more? Who did "enough"? The goal of the groups seemed to focus more on showing off rather than actual work (whether this is true or not is open to discussion, but this was my perspective). Soon I began to dread the groups and would avoid them. Only one group really kept me motivated, but I had trouble making it to those group meetings. I felt isolated. When I worked alone, I was VERY productive and enjoyed the work more. What was wrong? Was I doing something that needed changing?

After speaking with a trusted professor, I tired a few new strategies. Rather than using accountability groups that I did not draw motivation from, I relied on an accountability partner who I trusted. A healthy, natural competitiveness had evolved with this person, but neither of us had the negative feelings associated with competition. We could be happy for each other's successes and it made each of us want to achieve more. Through this competition, I was able to still write for a total of 54.6 hours during the month of June. That was amongst traveling every weekend, a family emergency, presenting at a conference, and submitting a manuscript! I'm so relieved and feel inspired again.

Accountability groups are important to success in academia, however, as a wise professor told me "when they cease to be beneficial, no matter the reasons, you have to get out". Finding a group that matches your goals, work style, and personality is one of the most important factors in accountability group success.